How to Pick Up Chicks, Friends and Followers: Be the Draw

Made this list Friday and have stared at it on and off since.

Probably best to relate it to dating. Some friends and I all ended up single all at the same time a few years ago. Pretty much everyone can relate to the situation. You wonder where you’ll find your next amour, whichever definition you may want to use for that.

We sought resources... and came across the “pick up artist” genre. Guys who had proclaimed themselves experts at picking up women and who shared teaser tips as email “newsletters” to get you to buy their ebooks and seminars. Most of what they said was total schlock. In fact, it often amounted to “...take a shower, get a haircut and some decent clothes and actually go where you’ll meet women.” (Is there a female version of this?)

However, in all this there was one sliver of wisdom that stuck with me:

Be the draw.

The essence: Instead of going out and spending your energy pursuing a mate, go find stuff you’re interested enough in to be passionate about. This can be your career, a hobby, or something new to which you’ve always been drawn, but never quite tried. Maybe pottery or flying or rock climbing or travel or reading the world’s 100 best novels. It didn’t matter except that you were putting yourself forth into something that interested you... which, inherently, makes you interesting. We are drawn to people who have an interest that drives them. A passion. It also gets you among others with whom you share this passion. The idea wasn’t changing who you are. It was taking who you already are and amplifying it. By challenging yourself, exercising your intellect and other talents... you bring out your essence, which is "the draw".

A mate would follow. It would happen because you were out there. Because you’d run into chances to interact and connect along the way. In the meantime, you were constantly improving the one who you’d always have... your self.

I see this being applicable to the way many individuals/organizations/companies approach social media. There’s a whole lot of trying to be just like the big guns... those with incredible follower numbers. This includes Gary Vaynerchuk (Wine Library TV), Darren Rowse (Problogger), Mari Smith (Facebook guru), Jason Alba (wrote the book on LinkedIn).

But, truth is, your organization/company has its own purpose and passion. You exist to accomplish something. Go back to look at that mission statement. From that, what do you REALLY want to share with your like-passioned community? Not your social media friends... but the community you already have. What about your staff, your board, committed volunteers, those who benefit from your services (who are your customers?). This is your first set of friends/followers. Those who are already passionate enough about what you do to have an existing connection.

The second group is that big list of email addresses to whom you send a (regular?) newsletter. They’re connected, too. Some are customers. Some signed up on your web site. Some you don’t even remember why they’re there. But they might.

Move out a step and think of those other companies/organizations/individuals who have common interests with you. Do you have strategic partnerships with others?

Think of it in terms of overlapping spheres of influence. You cannot reach everyone. But these primary circles of directly-involved passionates will help share your message with others. If the message is particularly relevant, useful (think in terms of to whom it’s useful), or otherwise pithy, even the others will share it. It will bring those from even far away to friend/follow you.

All you had to do was focus on being the best you you could be and share that with those who share the passion.

Which brings us back to my list... How do you be the draw?

Years ago—before the term “social media” existed—I heard Shel Holtz describe what caused a person to subscribe to your email newsletter: Relevancy. Accuracy. Value.

I think it still applies:

Relevancy: It fits within the scope of what that person actually cares about. Though this can limit your audience (don’t we want EVERYONE to be interested?), I think more in terms of it concentrating them.

Accuracy: Your information has some level of authority to it. It’s coming from experts or those who are doing something about the issue. If I come back to the same source, I can get even more—and better—information on the same topic. I know it will be right (and corrected/updated when needed). Reporters deal a lot in this. There’s a reason we turn to the same newspapers/publications... and now blogs, even twitterers.

Value: I can actually do something with it. I’m more knowledgeable because of it. People can turn to me as a resource now because I pay attention to it. Personally, I hate company/organization newsletters because they are often filled with useless information that is either meant to appease egos or simply fill space because there was a deadline. Please, only share stuff that’s of value to ME. Better yet, put great information where I can find it. Or, even easier, point me to great information even if you didn’t produce it yourself. But make sure it’s of value to me.

To go beyond that, I’m finding a more extensive list applies within your social media circles. It takes a slightly different approach on each platform (i.e. resources you post tend to hang around longer in a blog or Facebook than in Twitter). But you should also be using the platforms together: Combining the immediacy of Twitter, the long-term discussive nature of blogs and Facebook, and the medium-specific nature of resources like YouTube, Flickr, even Google Maps.

That's the list I've been staring at:

1. Focused Topic: Your organization has a mission and that gives it a set of topics related to that mission. If you’re about preventing cancer, then you can share resources on diagnosis, treatment, prevention, nutrition, even related clothing options (bras/prosthetics for breast cancer survivors; head wraps for those undergoing chemotherapy)... but it all needs to relate back to your mission: preventing cancer.
   
2. Stay pithy: Yes, you can share humor related to your mission. Engage in conversations with friends/followers. Even be irreverent (if your personality warrants). However, bring things back to what your audience/customers are concerned with. This doesn’t mean being so narrow that you get boring. There’s a world of material to explore in any profession. Just ask yourself, is this who we are?
3. Interact: Your friends/followers have questions. Comments. Some will even (eventually) offer to guest post. Revel in this. They’re telling you exactly what they’re interested in. They’re letting others know of their passion related to your organization. Your job at this point is to be a conversation facilitator, not a cop. Provide the resources they ask for. Participate right along with them... converse. Let them know they’re important to you by engaging with them.
4. Keep things current. I do this with a schedule. If I’m running a blog or Facebook account, I like to post at least one thing per week. On twitter, I like several tweets per day. I carry a camera with me pretty much everywhere to get in the practice of capturing that moment when it happens... then posting it to my accounts. This way friends/followers know I’m alive and thinking of them. Remember, each time you post, much of your audience is notified that something new is there. (Oh, and you don't have to post just stuff you created... share links to relevant materials, whether they're in something like the NYT, your trade association, or even an academic publication... remember, these are passionate friends/followers. Some DO want to geek out.)
   
5. Make it really easy for friends/followers to find and add you. This doesn’t mean working on your Google rankings, that’s another issue (though some of that happens automatically when you post frequently). This means that your blog address, twitter address, and other relevant social media platforms are listed on your web site’s home page, your email signature, even your organization’s newsletter. (And, yes, once you’ve started yourself on a platform, you should both promote that fact on other platforms—announce your Twitter account on your blog, for instance—and email your closest followers to join you there.)
6. Make it extremely easy to share/forward your posts.
7. Calendar for time management. Did a whole post on it. A calendar keeps it manageable, postings regular, and me sane.
8. Automate to save time. Two introductory thoughts (you’ll learn more as you go): a) Most platforms can be cross-posted. My Twitter account automatically posts as my Facebook status message AND to my blog (top, right hand corner if you haven’t already seen it). b) I use HootSuite (there are other options) to schedule when a tweet goes out. This means I can post a bunch at one sit-down session and they’ll send out over... heck, the whole month, if I want that. For blogs, both Blogger and Wordpress have similar functions. This helps consolidate your workload.
9. Be responsive. Check your accounts at least daily and make sure you’ve answered any queries or forwarded any great comments, etc.
10. Ask your existing passionate fans to invite others. This works serious magic for friend/follower numbers. Those most passionate about you will be happy to share that passion with others (and they’ll often know exactly who will appreciate this enough to join you).

Long post. But the bottom line: Be the draw. With a passion and this outline as a guide, get the girl... er, the friends/followers.